Weight loss

So about 5 years ago I realized that I was super unhappy with how I was looking. I noticed my whole life that everyone around me was smaller and that I was the bigger one in the group. Even though my mother would tell me I was not, their is a difference between how you see yourself and how others see you. Just because my mom thought I looked okay, I did not feel okay, and I knew how I was eating was not okay either. So I decided to start working out more and watching what I was eating but still enjoying food:) Well my Freshmen year of college I really started to notice the weight was coming off, and more and more people were starting to tell me how great I was looking.

This is at one of my thinnest moments

Let me stop right here and tell you.. when people are telling you how great you look it makes you want to keep losing more weight and eventually your body starts reacting in a negative way when too much weight comes off. My family and friends noticed how thin I was becoming and decided to have an intervention with me.
Just like anyone would react I said "I have no problem." When in reality I had anorexia. I would was so consumed in how many calories I was eating a day it was ridiculus. I had many "rules" that I lived by, including X amount of calories, writing down my calories at a specific time of day, only eating certain types of food. I though I was being healthy. I was eating the whole grains, fruit, veggies, lean meat, I was doing everything that I was suppose to be doing but just not eating enough of it.

I had gained some weight and was doing much better!

Their were certain times I would go on these long binges, and eat whatever I could get my hands because I was so hungry. And these binges would include healthy food but sometimes they would include "bad" food as well. I recall one time when I ate a gallon of ice cream, half a jar of peanut butter, and a half of pizza. It was sicking. In order to get rid of this food I would exercise and boy would I exercise. I would go to the gym for about 3 hours a day, and just run, run and run some more. Trying to just get ride of the food that was inside me. On these days after a binge I would not eat either, and so I was on a green tea and water diet.
After my friends and family had this intervention I was taken into therapy twice a week, I was being looked after by a nutritionist and a eating disorder doctor. This all happened my Sophomore year of college.

I still sometimes struggle with my eating disorder but after learning about blogs and reading other peoples stories I have come to realize that your body truly needs food, no ifs ands or buts about it. I am a runner and now that I can see that image when I look into the mirror and not the image of a fat person, I know that my body needs good food and when I workout as much as I like to do, I need real food.
Its hard to amit you have a problem. I denied it for a year in a half. But once you realize that you do have a problem everything becomes much easier, and its easier to see the light at the tunnel.

I am not saying that I am 100% cure from my eating disorder, but I do want to say that getting help made me so much better. I don't know what would have happened to me if I never got the help from my doctors
If you think you have any type of "bad" relationship of food, talk to someone.


I hope this page helps you on your way to success and just learn from me that an eating disorder is not the way to lose weight. I understand now how to lose weight properly, and not in a way that is harmful to my body:)